Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Whoopin' their ass!

As I've said before, I've got some friends on Facebook that are old high-school buddies and acquaintances from times past, and every once in a while I get invited to some seriously crazy shit.

So today it was an invitation by a high-school woman friend to a popular Facebook site called "My parents didn't put me in time-out -- they whooped my ass!" The site has more than 600,000 members -- no doubt, most of them Christians, who salivate over "spare the rod, spoil the child" -- no doubt as recompense for having already sold their souls to mysticism and getting beat up psychologically for it.

Anyway, as y'all know I'm an unschooler and I'd rather cut off my toes than once strike my child. It has never even entered my head to strike her -- or anyone else, for that matter, except for Keith Olbermann and the soccer mom going 45 in a 55-mph zone while chatting away on her cell phone.

So, when I become president of these here United States and institute a rational constitution with rational laws, I'll grab my popcorn and watch a night of public beatings of parents who "whoop the ass" of their children. It'll bring out the redneck in me, as I'm sure I'll be screaming with delight, "That's right, keep on whoopin' their ass!"

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