A high-school girl has ruffled the Christian cuckoos' feathers in northeast Mississippi. She digs chicks, and chicks aren't supposed to dig chicks -- not in THAT way -- in Hicksissippi.
The girl, Constance McMillen, wanted to go to the prom with her mate, and she wanted to wear a tux. Itawamba Agricultural High School pig-heads told her she couldn't bring her sophomore girlfriend to the prom, and then the school's Bible-thumpers circulated a memo commanding that no student could bring someone to the prom of the same sex. The meat-brains also told McMillen she couldn't wear a tux. (Everybody knows that girls in tuxes turn all other girls into Lesbians.)
The ACLU jumped into the frier and the thumpers got scared, so instead of banning McMillen, the thumpers simply cancelled the prom. Yes, cancelled the prom entirely, theoretically ruining a seminal point in all the students' lives because of their bigotry.
Well, no, the pig-heads had other plans. They then floated the idea that some private person could hold the prom, thereby circumventing the laws and the ACLU and allowing the private person to exclude anyone he wishes.
Bye bye, Constance McMillen and her broken-hearted girlfriend, and hello, pig-heads. "I'm going to have to change schools or something," a distraught McMillen said.
If the story ended there, the Commandment-mongers scored a victory.
But it didn't, thanks to Ellen DeGeneres and the web site www.tonic.com. On DeGeneres' show Friday, McMillen received a $30,000 scholarship check. DeGeneres said she's proud of McMillen for challenging the school district's rules.
Oh yes, of course, DeGeneres is also a ... LESBIAN! Ack! Take that, pig-heads. You just got a sweet young girl a free ride through college.
Irony is as sweet as Southern barbecue sauce.