Friday, March 20, 2009

Look Look Look Look Look Look Look Look Look

I hardly ever turn on the TV, and have an especially strong aversion to oxymoronic TV news, so I've actually only seen our new fascist leader speak probably four times, including the inauguration and a debate and, now, his appearance on Lefty Leno's program last night (which I actually caught on NBC's web site after the fact because of the uproar about The Extra-Sweet And Oh-So-So-So Special Olympics flatulence -- a delicious subject that another blog entry will soon undress).

So anyway, NBC, of course, has it set up where you have to watch commercials ad infinitum to get to the meat, so while I read my newspaper I mostly listened to the Toothpick Wretch With The Dead Eyes drone on and sssssssttttttutter about this robbery and that thievery by the government. The "olympics" comment didn't come for 25 minutes (GAWD!), but what caught my attention in the intervening 25 minutes was the Nanny-In-State's continual and condescending use of the word "look."

"Look, Jay, what we have here ..." "Look, most people ..." "Look, Tim is a ..." "Look, these are tough times, but ..."

Each time Mr. Dead Eyes started with "look," he pushed the I-need-to-seem-presidential button (you know, tilted head, open hands in vertical-parallel, somber mien, deep voice -- which he does even better than My Finger Is Always Bent When I'm Lying Bill Clinton) whenever he said LOOK to Lefty, who obediently crinkled his brow and adopted appropriately serious pose as he awaited word from The Heavenly Guest.

As common folks like us know, you generally don't use the term "look" to begin a sentence unless you perceive an injustice with your interlocutor (for any liberals chancing upon reading this erudite blog, that means "somebody taking part in a conversation," and a "conversation" is something that happens when two people talk TO each other and not AT each other with hidden liberal intentions of theft, robbery and treacly-special-victim giveaways).

So for most of us regular people who respect the person we're talking with, we would use the word "look" in possibly some of the following ways: "Look, I've had just about enough of that!" or "Look, what I meant was this." or "Look, Obama has a booger bigger than the tax hike on people who actually work."

Not so with the Lefties. They use "look" as a term of condescension with those (everyone else) who simply cannot understand the utter gravity, import and necessity of understanding the liberals' godlike grasp of fascist altruism.

I, however, use "look" in a more constructive manner with the slight help of sleight of hand (I'll show how smart I am and tell you that the French call it legerdemain). Here's an example:

I walk up to the Punkster-in-Chief and shout "LOOK!" while pointing at the wall nearby. Mr. Dead Eyes shoots his head around to look at the wall, and then I slap the ever-loving shit out of his toothpick self. "Gotcha, muthuh-fuckah."

It'd be the easiest two years in prison I ever spent -- not that I've ever been to prison!

No comments: