I unsubscribed from the dating service Match.com a long time ago when I was 7 years old. OK, it was just four months ago, but it SEEMS like forever because they keep sending me emails that say "your new matches from match.com" with pictures of whales and toothless hyenas (what is this, National Geographic?!) and Icabod Crane lookalikes saying things like "yourGeorgiapeach" (obviously never seen that a peach looks like a big butt on one side) and "goodPEACH4u" and "GApeachpie" and "classyatlpeach" and "cantpassthispeachup" and, well, you get the idea.
I now have to go to counseling because when I hear the word "peach" I get hives.
Yes, this is Georgia, and yes, the peach is the state symbol, but I'm overdosing on vitamin C here, ladies!!! How about a little honesty in advertising, PLEASE?! Like this:
"fatbutfunny"
"noteethgoodhead"
"porkbellypudentang"
"haveteethwilltravel"
"fornicationvacation"
"skinnybutnotsmelly
"sassysarsparilla"
Your humor may just get you a date with me. After all, I'm a peach of a guy!
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