Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I just LOVE pissing off liberals

I went to my mailbox today and among the bills was a letter to me with no return address and a peace/love stamp on it, so of course the first thing that popped to mind was that a hippie had a wholesome soul-searching and was returning thousands of dollars to me that he'd robbed me of via the federal government. Right?

Nah, it was better. It was a little anonymous tantrum against my blistering letter to the editor on the liberal media. Here's the tantrum:



Now, as you can tell, this is a snot-nosed liberal trying with all his cold heart to be clever. Note the wonderment at whether my humor was "intentional." One of the things I love about liberals is they wouldn't know humor if a giant welfare queen fell on Barack Obama and smothered the stick figure.

And please don't tell Mr. Anonymous that my letter (I'm whispering, so he doesn't hear me and start flailing his arms and legs and falling on the floor balling) took 8 to 10 minutes tops. It just so happens that I'm funny and clever and smart, ahem, which are traits that might as well be a sixth sense beyond the reach of the fritterati.

I hope you, my dear readers, will not feel left out in this withering broadside, since you most likely cannot spell "erudite," much less know what it means, as our anonymous tantrum-thrower most assuredly does since he uses such high-falutin phrases as "rat's ass"

You know, I haven't listened to Limbaugh in 12 years, but I kinda got a yearning to tune in tomorrow, especially since I just discovered I'm a conservative. After all, Limbaugh LOVES to piss off liberals, too. They're just so funny when their faces get red and that inbred look twists into something resembling a gothic statuette.

My adorable little fan (they love to hate me) lost his pen and gonads, so I cannot lovingly write back with my autograph. But I'm happy to share these fun times with you, my dear friends.

Peace out!

2 comments:

Kelly Elmore said...

I think when you get hate mail, it means you have really arrived. Yee haw!

David Elmore said...

And just imagine if I was a columnist at the AJC! I'd be putting the Post Office back in the black with all those letters. Yee haw, indeed!