Sunday, April 19, 2009

Breathing and farting are against the law

As most of you know by now, the EPA has ruled that CO2 emissions (breathing) are now pollutants that can be regulated, as well as methane (farts), nitrous oxide (Laughing gas! So now we can't fart or use laughing gas to giggle!! Sacre-fucking-bleu!) and various other polysyllabic man-made goodies that make our lives better than they're allowed to be.

OK, so I'm getting hysterical. These things are not TECHNICALLY against the law, but when the fascists start outlawing substances that our bodies emit, you gotta wonder when the Fart Police and Exhalation Police will come gunning. They better beware! Caveat politzia! Because when I know they're coming, I'm gonna eat me a pot full of beans and methane-suffocate the bastards in their own squad cars.

The EPA (Egomaniacal Prisspot Asswipes), of course, is just doing Obama Dead Eyes' bidding on this, along with most of Capitol Swill, in their attempt to chain and rob U.S. corporations and have the common man pay for all of this grand larceny without actually telling the common man that he'll pay for it.

The level of fascism in this country is rising faster than a fart in a tornado. It's tea-party time. Turn on those CO2 burners, heat up some tea, grab your placards, and let's kick the motherfuckers back to the stone ages where they belong -- before they learned how to do CO2-emitting bonfires, of course.

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