Saturday, April 25, 2009

"Avoid breathing" to prevent mosquito bites

I found a great web site that lists facts about mosquitoes, how to prevent bites, how to treat them, and all that.

Mosquitoes are attracted to the CO2 that we exhale (perhaps we should tell the Lefties, so they can ban mosquitoes), so one of the preventive suggestions on the site is to "avoid breathing" -- apparently not a tongue-in-cheek comment.

Anyway, there's lots of good stuff on the site, which I looked up because skeeters fricking LOVE me. It's obviously a love-hate relationship, and I'm getting the bloody end of the deal. I evidently do many of the things that you're not supposed to do: eat bananas, sweat, have stinky feet when I wear sandals, stay out past dusk, wear fragrances (uhm, macho ones, of course) and BREATHE.

Since I probably won't stop any of the above "bad" things, I will probably have to eat lots of garlic, slather myself with certain oils, start a bat colony at my house, use Skin So Soft by Avon (SILENCE, I KILL YOU!), wear a Bounce fabric softener in my belt, and rub myself with vinegar.

And never ever ever expect any woman in the world to come 100 feet from me!

Yeah, like THAT will be different!

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