Saturday, May 23, 2009

I love you, too, Bank of America -- kiss kiss

A female friend of mine suggested (with a wry look on her face) to a lonely male friend of mine that the calls he was getting from several lenders for back payments were actually love calls and that he (who has not been on a date in months) thank his lenders for reaching out and calling him three times a day each to tell him that they love him.

So he did it, and I got to be there when he did it. Here's the call from a Bank of America officer.

BofA: Yes, Mr. So-and-so?
Male Friend: Yes.
BofA: Mr. So-and-so, this is Ms. So-and-so with Bank of America, and I need to inform you that this call may be recorded for ...
MF: Oh, Bank of America? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you for calling! I've missed you, too. I just love how you guys are the only people who care about me. You call me so many times each day just to say you love me. You don't actually use those words, but I know that's what you mean!
BofA: Um, OK. ... It may be recorded for quality assurance purposes. This is an attempt to collect a ...
MF: Oh, shucks, you don't have to pretend. Just say it.
BofA: Excuse me, Mr. So-and-so?
MF: You know. Come on! Say you love me, you really love me!
BofA: Do you think this is a joke, Mr. So-and-so? We are ...
MF: Oh no, it's not a joke. I wish I could just put my arms around you and give you a great big hug! That's what I'm doing now -- just giving the phone a great big hug. Now I'm throwing you kisses. (loud smooches)
BofA: Is this Mr. So-and-so?
MF. Of course. Now, don't be shy. Let's sing together. Kumbaya, my Lord, Kumbaya! Kumbaya, my Lord, Kumbaya! ...
BofA: (yelling) Mr. So-and-so?! Mr. So-and-so?! (click)


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