Sunday, November 02, 2008

The Bad Ass Bird of Retribution (Babor)

A 13-year-old girl who had been raped in Somalia was dragged into a stadium of 1,000 chanting people and stoned to death on Oct. 27. The girl had reported the rape by three men and, subsequently, the Islamic militia accused her of adultery. Dozens of fanatics then stoned her until she lay a bloody, lifeless pulp.

Since I am the notorious Mr. Retributive Justice (a name I gladly gained from my friend Dan Puckett many years ago), and since I am a big fan of happy (or at least just) endings, I offer the following climax after the innocent girl's murder, in which the Bad Ass Bird of Retribution (Babor) enters the stadium with his 20-foot wingspan, talons of steel, giant ripping beak of death and piercing eyes of justice?

As he flies into the stadium from an iron-gray sky and lets out a deafening squawk, the 1,000 spectators look up in fright with mouths open, and Babor shits upon them as he circles round in menacing glide. His cold black eyes turn to the murderers, who drop their remaining stones and scamper about pissing themselves, running into each and watching in terror as Babor picks them up one-by-one and rips their throats out over the audience, sending a shower of blood onto horrified, cowering mystics. After each of the dozens of eviscerated murderers is flung onto the mob, Babor perches atop a light pole and gazes proudly at the mayhem.

When the stadium has emptied and all is calm, Babor swoops down and lifts the young girl gently in his great beak. He flies her home to her mourning father, who had first notified Amnesty International of the abominable crime. Babor remains until the little girl is buried. He flies off and returns with dozens of blood-caked throats and places them beside the grave -- a warning to grave-robbing Koraniacs. The clouds lift.

Babor squawks and flies into the clear, blue sky.

No comments: