Damn these producers and inventors and wicked capitalists and their tantalizing gadgets designed to separate me from portions of my checking account! I hate them! Oh, how I hate them!
Reminds me of a time in 1995 when I was a journalist at a N.C. newspaper. I was getting off of work around 6 p.m. "What are you doing tonight, David," I was asked by a co-worker. "Going to stand in line," I said. "Stand in line? Where? For what?" he said. "For Windows 95. It goes on sale at midnight," I said with a smile, knowing what was to come from him and the co-workers around us. They mocked me and had some fun with me, and I did them in turn. I got my Windows 95 and stayed up to 4 a.m. installing it and exploring it. What glorious bliss!
The following weekend, the editorial page chief ran his usual "enlightenment" column. This time it was on the "foolish" who selfishly stand in line at midnight for new electronics purchases when there are more important things in the world to think about. He would not let me write a counterpoint column, so I emailed him that he was a benighted, soul-less creature and other choice things (I was younger then and, um, more candid).
Anyway, I long for the Droid. I'm grokking. I'm lustful. I must have one!
Damn you, capitalist conspirators! How can you keep doing this to me?!