MySpace.Calm

There’s a certain thing that happens when you become objective about life, about facts and values – about the values you wish to pursue and the facts that pertain to those values. A calmness sets in inside your very being. A selfishness sets in, wherein any intrusion into your values evokes an immediate emotional reaction, which sparks an immediate analysis by your rational mind. For the rational being, his physical and emotional “space” is very clear to him, and he understands that his emotional reactions can be his subconscious tips to intrusions, thereby alerting his mind. Your space-alarm becomes your invisible centurion, your trusted barometer against irrational behavior attempting some assault upon you.

The objective person’s actions are deliberate; they are deliberately connected to the values he is pursuing; he knows what he wants to do at all times, and he knows he has a right to do as he pleases with himself. His space is ALWAYS his. It is inviolate. There’s an easy introspection and contented self-consciousness. There’s a calm in his space that is the direct result of his objective mindset.

If you are objective, this makes you impervious (or virtually impervious, depending upon the degree of your objectivity) to the acceptance of physical-space intrusions, imprecations, maligning, emotionalism, opinion, innuendo, gossip and bad ideas.

Your calm space puts you in such a place that when a hurried worker at a store wishes to take a shortcut through you (instead of around you) to get to his destination and says in frustration, “Excuse me,” you reflexively say, “Go around me.”

Or when a “nice old lady” at a coffee shop says to your daughter, “Are you being a good girl, so the Easter Bunny will bring you lots of candy,” you say to the woman, “No, she is good so she can be happy with herself, and she enjoys the make-believe of the Easter Bunny fantasy.” By the way, you make these comments to the old woman not for her sake but for your daughter’s sake, to re-enforce what you’ve taught your own daughter about selfishness, values and justice.

Or when a friendly acquaintance is irrationally upset at something you said and gets very emotional about it. Her raising the emotional bar does not mean that you must raise your emotional bar. You simply address the issue thoughtfully and empathetically if this is an usual occurrence. Your space remains unperturbed. This doesn't mean you can't get angry, of course, but if the person is of value to you, you will soon calm down and address the issue rationally.

Or when an opponent of freedom/rationality/selfishness makes a horrible comment to you or someone close to you, and you respond with a devastating retort that is not defensive but is instead steady and on point. To be defensive is to not understand one’s thoughts on a subject and to respond emotionally with the “feeling” that you are right. When you are within yourself on a subject, your calmness and wit will carry the moment.

Or when a celebrity seeks your money for altruism (starving kids in Africa, “victims” of Katrina, deformed children, etc.) and you immediately turn the channel or mute the TV without compunction or another thought about it.

Or when relatives demand that you come home for the holiday and you don’t wish to for whatever reasons (and there are usually plenty). When they try to make you feel guilty, you understand that nobody can feel guilty about pursuing objective values, so there is no chance of getting your goat. You control the conversation in a manner that is satisfactory to you or you hang up.

When you are in your calm space, you realize that much of dealing with the world requires that you “handle” situations. You do so with ease and speed. You handle people because they cannot handle themselves. You realize that most adults are like irrational children, incapable anymore of understanding their own motivations because they have created such an enormous mind-body dichotomy that they can no longer remain focused on facts and values – unlike you. And so it goes.