Friday, April 30, 2010

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

We former kids who are still pretty much kids used to hear two jokes concerning when a question is asked with the obvious answer being yes: "Does a bear shit in the woods?" and "Is the Pope a Catholic?" When we got bored, we'd mix 'em up a bit: "Does the Pope shit in the woods?" ... To which one of the replies would be, "He does if he's bare."

Yeah, stupid, funny, corny. Hell, it still puts a grin on my face -- especially with the current inerrant Pope and his billion-person herd praying for forgiveness and demanding expiation from the flock. Now, this is too much fun on many counts, so I'm almost (ALMOST) embarrassed to have so much easy comedy to choose from in the hapless smorgasbord.

First off, you've got a Pope who didn't tell cops about some of his priests fucking kids, fucking lots of innocent kids. Then the Pope (who's probably been watching too much American football) adopts the adage "the best defense is a good offense" and tells his mostly innocent flock that they need to pray for the church and even themselves. Note to Pope: "THEY didn't fuck kids or hide priests who fucked kids! YOU did." (end of note)

The Pope owns his own country and has a billion sheep, two things that give politicians and police chiefs hiccups and Alzheimer's. I have approximately 30 readers of my blog every day and do not own my own country (yet) and I love liberty, so I am a prime target for politicians and police chiefs, who would throw me in with the butt-busters in prison if I ever defiled children.

Now, you perceptive readers may have noticed I used the adjective "inerrant" in describing the Pope above. Yes, popes do not make mistakes. They are the direct line between sheep and the guy in the sky with the big cigar and a subscription to the Pedophilia United Broadcasting Incorporation Channel (PUBIC). Popes get direct instructions from the PUBIC lover and, therefore, never makes errors -- at least until modern constitutional republics and the Internet came along. Now, they've admitted to errors during the Holocaust, about their treatment of Galileo of his discoveries, about whether priests can put their penises in young children, and about whether Tim Tebow is in fact Christ risen.

We can only imagine how many tens of millions of children have been subjected to life-altering abuse in dank chambers, musty back rooms and dark forests over the last two thousand years of popery. The mystical rats in robes have ruled their sheep's minds, and therefore their bodies and morality, for centuries and done as they please. It is a shameful era in the history of humankind -- and one that speaks eloquently to what happens to people when they become weak of mind and spirit by not critically challenging the shamans who seek power over them.

And yet watch the crusty curmudgeon conehead and his crucifix enthrall still the hordes who run to him as their saviour's elect. The beady eyes smile knowingly at their credulity. His back bends with the weight of decades of irrationality, carrying the cross of faith -- the f-word that is anathema to all who love life.

One of every 6 human beings adore this white monster, and most of the Supreme Court of the United States of America call him their moral leader. ... Does that give you pause?!

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

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