Sunday, November 13, 2005

If you're gunning for San Francisco ...

The city of San Francisco recently voted overwhelmingly to ban handguns from its city limits -- even those of retired police officers and federal agents. Other locales that have done so in the past have been Chicago and Washington D.C., both of which then saw their murder rates skyrocket.
The Sidereal Messenger (TSM) has it on good source and would like to report first that it has discovered that criminals around the United States of America are now flocking to San Francisco -- not for a love-in, but for a shoot-in. TSM has just learned from some of the horrified moms and spouses (who are calling TSM from all over the country) that their nefarious relatives are phoning fellow criminals and singing to them. Yes, SINGING to them -- in jubilation. "If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to carry your pistols with you there. If you're going to San Francisco, you're gonna meet some unarmed people there. For those who come to San Francisco, wintertime will be a shoot-in there. In the streets of San Francisco, murdered people with bullets in their head. All across the nation, such a strange vibration. ... People in motion for those unarmed in San Francisco. Be sure to carry your pistols with you there. If you go to San Francisco, wintertime will be a shoot-in there."

4 comments:

mama_possum said...

Tehehe. As always, you are too witty for words. Your parody meter is right on. I could sing most of your words to the tune, but I'm not sure my tonal memory is all that good. Seriously, it would be interesting to see what happens to crime rates in the hippie city.
mama possum

Jenn said...

Now I've got that hippie song stuck in my head!

The only good I can foresee coming out of this is the fact that as crime rates rise (which they will), real estate prices will DROP. Not that I would move there, but it might be a good investment opportunity!

david elmore said...

Yeah, I guess we'll see what happens. At least when the hippies start gettin' shot, they won't be able to attend any more sit-ins. And when guns get banned, minority districts are the ones usually hit hardest by crime, so that'll give the hippies some more noblesse oblige stuff to feel superior about, too. It's just a win-win for those darn hippies -- well, except for the ones who'll be dead.

mr1radical said...

And you call your self an author.

Stu in Winston-Salem